How Focusing On My Business Helped Me Get Through Quarantine

“Weird times” has truly become the start and end of everything since March.

The rollercoaster of emotions that overtook me once it was clear this was our new reality, was probably similar to a lot of you. It’s the fear of the unknown. The fear for the most vulnerable in our society. The feeling of loss our everything we knew to be “normal”. All of our 2020 weddings had to be rescheduled. We became re-planners. No one knew when it would be safe again to gather with loved ones, to travel, to celebrate anything. Our own wedding was postponed. Everything felt sad, broken, “not the way it was supposed to be”. Not to be a downer, but this is true. I’d like to say I was a positive, “everything will be okay” type of person, and some days I was. But some days it was hard to get off the couch. Or be excited about weddings. Or anything.

And then things started to shift. Not in the world, because we were in the worst of quarantine, not seeing our parents down the street. Something shifted within me. I got inspired. I started to make date nights at home special. I started working with a business coach. I even put together a mini styled shoot by myself in my backyard. People were finding creative ways to celebrate important moments with drive bys, porch visits and then later distanced visits. I wanted to do something. My answer was to focus on Pastiche. Never had my mission felt clearer. If I couldn’t plan weddings, what could I do? Why do people follow me? Why are people inspired by me? And so many other things began to swirl and gave me a renewed sense of purpose. Maybe I didn’t have all the answers and still yo-yo-ed between feeling hopeless and hopeful, but I was sure going to try and something, anything to focus my energy and get myself through.

From one of my more productive spells, via virtual shoot with Alexandra Votsis

Mental health

This was obviously in horrible shape. I started working out again. I started running again for the first time in a decade. I needed to be kinder to myself. There was a lot of pressure to DO, to craft, to read to learn new things, which would come eventually, but I had to listen to what I needed. Quiet nights with my fiancé. Watching all the shows and movies that made me feel comforted. Less news. More homemade meals. I learned how to make Pad Thai from scratch and of course got on the sourdough train. I became more intentional with my grocery shopping, with how I spent my day and who I gave my time to.

Investing in myself

It was a good time to focus on the ongoing branding and website work with Monarch Design Co. We made plans, made edits, made it my own. I invested in certain online courses to help me in my business. I started working with Danielle Barich, an incredible femme business coach who inspired me to dream bigger. I invested in new tools and learning new processes through WedLearn so that I could be as helpful and agile as possible for my clients.

Dreaming bigger

The biggest takeaway for me was the clear picture I had of what Pastiche can grow to be. It went beyond weddings. I found a new way to connect through #PasticheAtHome with my community in terms of finding beauty in the every day and the importance of intentional living. Then I dreamt of a pivot to a micro-wedding which we held at home. And there is still so much to come.

I can’t tell you yet if I’m at the end of the grieving cycle for all of the things that will never be the same, but I’ve come out on the other end knowing there is meaning to be found in this time of refocus and reevaluation. There isn’t a “right” way to any of this - you survived another day and hey, that’s everything.

I know these are still really challenging and scary times. If anyone is ever in need of someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to reach out.